Sometimes I just don't feel it!

I have been going through this funk for a while now with working here and there the small blows to my self esteem when one does not work out the way it is supposed to. My assignment here is over now and I am about to head back home to Ohio. But, with that being said. I am not sure what the next step is. I am 53 years old and I am looking for a job yet, again! All of these ups and downs make a girl feel blue! I am used to working taking care of people and my family. My family has grown up and moved away. Now, taking care of patients is not happening either, unless I fight for a new job every few months and move on and on and on from here to there all alone when not at work. Why? I do not understand WHY? I am tired! I am tired of the emotional roller coaster. I am tired of fighting for everything and it only lasts for a few weeks or months. I am tired of feeling this way like everyone is against me and I did something wrong. I am tired! I know in my heart God has a plan for me but I am so tired! Where do I go next? What happens next? I am tired of thinking about next! I just want to work, pay my bills and think about today like I am supposed to be doing!