Monday, August 20, 2007

Can a family member also be a friend??

I thought I had a good thing going for 40 some years my best friend has been my first cousin. She is how I met my husband. Her husband and mine were best friends since 7th grade when I met my husband in 1978. We did everything together. They got married, we got married. They had a children we had children. When our kids were little we spent all of our off time together and then we talked on the phone when we were not together. Our kids grew up, we moved to different parts of town and didn't spend as much time together anymore, but we had a special bond because we were family. I was a little hurt when we moved to the country and we did not see each other as much, and I was always the one calling but I didn't let it ruin my friendship. When the family had get togethers we were thick as theives because we had a special thing. We promised each other in high school we would never let family things come between us.
My husband's job moved us to South Carolina from Pittsburgh, PA. That is when the real seperation started. We would call or email when we both got computers once every couple months, or call once every couple months. But the friendship never really was the same as it was back then......
My mom and her mom are sisters, there is only the two of them and my grandmother who my mom has been taking care of for 13 years. You see when life got in the way of us it also got in the way of her and my grandmother. She used to, when the kids were young visit my grandmother every week and call all the time, then the calls and visits got less frequent just like they did with me.
Recently my mom retired, she moved to South Carolina because she wanted my mom to take care of her. My aunt has some medical problems and agreed she could not take care of my grandmother. My mom and grandmother moved in with me. While this was going on a nosey neighbor of my grandmother started spreading lies about how my mom and I lied to my grandmother and everyone just to take my grandmother away. NONE OF THAT IS TRUE!!! I HAVE NEVER LIED TO MY COUSIN, AUNT MOTHER OR GRANDMOTHER!
My cousin, who is supposed to know me and be my best friend chose to believe the lies. When I asked if she was mad at me for some reason she returned the email with rude, ruthless things about my mom. Stating she was dissappointed in me because I lied. I DID NOT!
The things she said were so mean and hurtful I do not think infact I know it will never be the same between us. I am hurt! My husband tells me not to let this bother me but I can not help it it HURTS! I did not think we would end up like this family members who see each other at weddings and funerals and talk about old times. I thought we had a special friendship because we were family members and we would always be friends first. I guess I lived in a fantasy world. That is so sad to me. My heart is broken and I am truely sad.

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