Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Spending time with my grandson

I am having a wonderful time today Ethan and I spent the morning together while my daughter and son in law went to school. It was terrific! I still have 7 and 1/2 days! Kev is coming up in 3 days for the last 4.

I am here

The flight was good and I spent the day playing with my grandson. I got a couple pictures on my phone. I'll post some as I can. Thank you all for prayers.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Going to see my daughter and family

Today is the day. I will be on the plane from 6:15 am till 2pm eastarn time. I am very excited right right now. I'll share pictures as I can.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Miss California vs Perez Hilton

I heard the back lash of this on Fox News the other night because I had not watched the Miss America pageant. I saw the response from Perez Hilton. I think this poor girl was set up. The answer she gave was what she believed. I happen to agree with her. I think a marriage should be between a man and a woman. After all that is how God mandated it in the bible. I am proud of this young woman for voicing her beliefs in such a pubic forum. I am also proud of Donald Trump for standing up for her. As for Perez's Hilton his response was childish! He resorted to name calling. After all we do live in the United States of America and we do have a constitutional right to freedom of speech. So I can voice my opinion because it is my right as can Carrie Prejean and so can Perez Hilton if he had a valid opinion and not just a tyrant of slander against a young woman who disagrees with him.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Good Day--Bad Day

I wonder what happens in the brain to make one day a good day and one day a bad day. Yesterday was a great day I woke up feeling great and had a wonderful day. This morning however I woke up feeling a little anxious. I do not know why. Nothing changed from yesterday to today. I am one day closer to go to see Sharon and I am really looking forward to it. I started taking the medication for panic attacks again just because I hate the feeling of thinking a panic attack will happen any minute. Yesterday I thought wonderful it is finally working I feel I am not so sure. SO I have decided to go through my days trusting the Lord that He will keep me safe because as my pastor said in a recent sermon the quote used most in the bible is "Fear not...Do not be afraid." SO I will not. I will go to work Sun and Mon and fly to Sharon's on Tuesday and have a wonderful time.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

My mom is having a rough time

My mom is having a rough time. She has taken care of my grandmother for sixteen years and my gram recently went into a nursing home in another state. Mom has been living here in SC my Nana is now in PA. I thought mom was doing good. She has a little place here and a job to provide extra income along with her social security. I just got a phone call for her and she was crying she told me she misses my grandmother (Nana) so much she can't stand it she is very lonely living by herself. She said she had been questioning God and she knew that was wrong, but she was thinking she wanted to move back to PA to be with my Nana until she dies. She wanted to know if I would be mad at her. Of course I told her I wouldn't be mad at her. I told her if she wanted to move back to PA I understand. I would never try to stop her from doing what she wanted to do. I reassured her it was OK to move where ever she wanted and if she wanted to be close to my Nana that is what she should do.
I feel so bad for her. She is so lonely. My step dad died almost 16 years ago and she moved in with my Nana shortly after that. She has never lived alone until now. So we are going to look on the web and try to find her a reasonable place to live back in PA so she can be close to Nana. Please pray for her she has some big bills up there with the utility companies because of my brother and will have to move into a different county to get utilities and there is also the fact that my brother lives there too and he has told her he never wanted to see her again. I know God will help her with this because I know He wants her to be happy and so do I.

6 Days till going to my trip

I am so looking forward to seeing my baby girl (who is 25 years old..but still my baby!) and my grandson and son-in-law! I have not seen them since Thanksgiving. I talk to her all the time but it is not the same. I wish they could live closer but o well maybe someday that wish will come true; but for now I praise the Lord that we have a wonderful relationship so we can talk everyday and that my grandson knows who I am. The look on his face when he sees me for the first time at the airport is worth the whole craziness of the flight. I plan to load up my ipod with good Christan music and a book or two to listen to while I am flying. I will also have my lap top with me to do some school work when I can. All of this after taking my Dramamine which will probably make me take a long nap while flying because I know I will not sleep the night before I never do. Anyhow thank you for your comments and prayers for this for me I appreciate them all.
I am planning a day with just me and Ethan; of course I am having a little bit of my crazy mind games about it but next Friday Ethan and I will be alone and I plan to take him till the children's museum and the carousel in town. I am, praying I do not mess this up with my panicky self.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Why do I do that???

I noticed I do this to myself I focus on something and then think I can not do that and then the fear comes in and a panic feeling starts. Why do I do that?? I am going to see my daughter next Tuesday. I am so excited to go to see her. I am not a fan of flying but I do it. Today I looked at my calender and saw my trip on the calender and thought about the flight I have to have and my stomach went crazy. I started to have that panic feeling like I could not do this. But this is something I want to do more than anything!! So why am I doing this??? Please pray for this for me so I can go to see my daughter and her family and not sabotage myself. Thank you

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

A good day

I had a good day today. I have been alone all day. That is a big thing for me who has been so sick and suffering from panic attacks because of it. A trip to see Bryan and the baby and my pastor helped me with this. The sermon this Sunday was all about fear and anxiety. Sometimes I wounder how he knows exactly what I am thinking. I know he does not but sometimes it really seems like he does. God uses this man in my life it is amazing to me sometimes. If you want to listen to the message you can go to it is an awesome message. Anyhow thanks to the Lord using people like this in my life and of course my mom who has been by my side since I called her to let her know I was in the hospital. (she went home yesterday) I am doing good today and looking forward to going to work tomorrow. Every once in a while I get a twinge of fear but I am good and ready to get back into life. Thank you Lord for always being there with me and for being with me when I am in my darkest caves.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Spending time with my new grandson

I went to see my son and new grandson yesterday with my mom. I needed to get out of the house and stopbeing sick. Here are some pictures of my grandson Asher, My son and daughter in law.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Found a peanut

When I was a girl there was a song we used to sing found a peanut....found a peanut was was rotten...ate it anyway....ate it any a belly a belly ache....saw the doctor.... and on and on all they way to St Peter. Why am I remembering this old song you might say well. I haven't been here because I have been in the hospital for 5 days. Did not know what was wrong with me have been sick as I stated for in previous posts for a bout a month. I was admitted to the hospital because they thought I had an infection caused by having too much antibiotics, c diff, it is a bacteria that grows regularly in our digestive track but when to many antibiotics are taken it can take over and cause you to be very sick.... I was for off and on for a month... After spending three days in the hospital nauseated unable to eat and running to the bathroom, getting iv drugs to keep me from being nauseated and sleeping most of the time..My husband brought a letter to the hospital we received from Sam's Club. Seems we bought tainted pistachios from them... I ate them..all of them, guess how long it took me to finish the jar? You guess it one month. Problem is when we finally got this information I was feeling better and was not OFFICIALLY tested for the salmonella. But the doctor stated I had classic symptoms..... So this old song is lingering in my mind now...HMMMM! Glad to be back. I'll catch up as I can.