DIVORCE

For those of you who read my blog do not be alarmed I am not getting a divorce. But, we got news last night that someone in our family may be. This is a very sore spot with me because my parents were divorced and my husband's parents were divorced. So all of the children in both families have felt the pain of not having mom and dad live together in the same house. I know some will say this is for the best and eventually everyone will be ok. Well, I am here to tell you there are scars from divorce that never go away!

I was only 11 when my mom and dad separated. I never blamed them, I always blamed myself. I must have done something to ruin my family! For the rest of my life up to this point  I have tried to paste my family back together. For me the family just got bigger, I now have a wonderful step mom whom is very dear to me, two step sisters, I love as much as my three blood sisters and two half brothers whom both own pieces f my heart! I did not mention a step-father because he died some time ago. My life with my step-dad was always rocky; because I have a GREAT dad. So when this man came into my life and told me he "was now my father and I should start calling him dad." I became bitter and this set the stage for our whole relationship. Unfortunately, it also set a president because everyone who has ever been a part of my life knows my step-dad and I did not mesh. (not the best witness of Christ's love in my life) My feelings for him have hurt my mom, for that I am sorry.

Those are the kind of things that happen when a family is torn! Husband and wife may think they are not happy and just do not want to be unhappy any more. But, when there are kids involved it is way more complicated. Young girls look up to their dad's as the man they will some day marry; how can they do this when he is no longer with them or only sees them on weekends? You see in my young eyes, no matter what faults my dad had he was a prince on a white horse coming to take me away from the mean man who married my mom. This feeling only caused more chaos in our home. At the time of the divorce there were 4 of us kids, all girls. While I clung to my dad with white knuckles because I was so afraid I would loose him; my sister who was 9 got mad and fought for my mom before and after her marriage to my step-dad years later. My sister and I actually had fist fights about it; which my step-dad encouraged! He wanted us to work out our feelings and anger! All this did was cause an even bigger gap in a broken family. Dad married first; this did not bother me somehow maybe because she never attempted to become anything but who she was, dad's wife. Any discipline needed always came from dad not her so I never felt like she was trying to take mom's place. It was very different for me when mom got married a few years later. When my brothers came along there had been so many girls, us three and my step-mom's two daughters, that we were delighted to have some brother's. We spoiled them rotten! I mean rotten!! But we were not a family any more just a bunch of people who had some bonds. There was no love between mom and dad, dad and step-dad, or mom and step-mom which made me feel broken. Why couldn't I have what every one else had, a family? There must be something wrong with me!

Those who have not been through this from a child's point of view have no idea the damage it can cause. Family is a sense of security for children. There is mom and dad and we can work it out together. Children feel this even at young ages, believe me I know! When the family is broken the CHILD is broken! SO I have a plea to any family with children and there is no abuse taking place PLEASE think about the children before you make any decisions about separation or divorce! I am here to tell you damage done to a child from divorce is something they carry with them FOREVER! Even when they are older and should be wiser; there will always be a place in them where the child is crying for the family they never had.

For those of you wondering my family has come a long way in the past 40 years. I am married to a wonderful man who has been my best friend and protector for over thirty years. I have grown twins who now have families of their own and are doing well. Most of my sister's are happily married with children, one of my brothers is married with a family the other also has a family with his girlfriend, they are not married; some still have issues, that's just the truth! But the Lord has done a wonderful thing! He answered a prayer from an 11 year old girl sitting on the attic stairs and has made us all a family! We still have our ups downs ( there are 8 of us siblings with varying opinions). But when push comes to shove we are all a family! A fact made very evident a few months ago when my dad had a heart attack and needed open heart surgery emergently and we ALL came together in the hospital, on the phone and on the internet; mom, step-mom, sisters, step-sisters, and half brothers all together praying and waiting for the word that dad would be ok. He did miraculous! Praise the LORD!! He mended a man and showed the world around us our mended family!!

Not every family separated has a wonderful ending like ours! Please think hard before you make the choice to separate or divorce when children are involved!

I am blessed

I want to take this opportunity and write a blog about how I feel about my daughter in law. I tried this once for my son in law but it was too mushy, so I will just keep repeating that he is my favorite son in law even though I only have one. It could be bad if he was not my favorite!

So my dear Elise this is for you! I want the world to know how blessed I am that my son chose you to be his wife! I love you for many reason, here are only a few.

1. I love the way you love my son! He can be kinda grumpy and lazy sometimes, but you love him anyway. I love it when you laugh at him when he is grumpy and making the grumpy face! You are patient and loving with him and give him the gentle nudge (shove) he needs sometimes to move him into the next step of his life journey. I love that you are there to take care him, and make sure he takes care of himself. He needed a partner like you! I am so blessed he found you!

2. I love your personality. I love that you are Snow White in the field with the animals( I can totally picture you in the dress singing to the birds and squirrels!) and so gentle and caring. But when my son or grandsons need a stern voice you can do that too with love. I love that about you.

3. I love your simple style! I think you are a wonderful home designer and would love for you to design my home! You have a knack of putting things together and they work! I love coming to visit and seeing the latest project! The living room and dining room look great!! Can't wait to se how you do the rest of the house!

4. I love the way you  raise the boys with love, fun and sternness at the same time. They can be the boys they are but when its time for discipline you do that too and it makes them think about the act they are disciplined for but they know you love them and can dance with you in the living room!

5. Finally, for today, I love your faith in God! I love that you guide your family in Christ and teach the boys about the Lord. I love that we can all sit and discuss a Bible study or controversial topic with a Biblical perspective!

My darling daughter in law I could go on and on about how you have blessed my family and my son; but I will end for now. Maybe to write more at a later date, who knows? What I really want to say is I love you and am very glad you are part of my family and I thank God for leading you to my son!

All my love
Becky

If it is the Lord's will...when a door closes a window will open

I know this is true! I see it all the time. I just choose not to see it sometimes. Well, today I am choosing to see God's will for me! As you  may know I am a nurse and have been in school working on my Master's Degree in Nursing Education and Informatics. I started a job in March that took up most all of my time. Because of this my grades dropped and I had to take a break from school. I was saddened by this but felt it was best until things either settled down or I got a new job. The latter happened. So I attempted to go back to school last week. I was told by the school that because my grades dropped below the expected grade for the last class I took, I needed to pay for that class before I could start back. Money is an issue for most everyone and it is for us too. This was not a planned expense so I did not have the money and would have to save to get it; which would set me back however long it took to save the amount. Although this amount of money was not substantial it would take a few months to save it. There always seems to be something that happens where money is concerned and now my first paycheck from my new job was lost so I am waiting for another one to be issued. I was upset and could not hold back tears because this is where I feel my career is headed in the future.

I pouted! I cried! and then I prayed. (yes, I pouted and cried before turning to God because I do that.) As I prayed I told God I wanted to follow the plan for my life and if this was not the plan I could handle it. I said it. I prayed it out loud, but did I really mean it? I do not know. The great thing is the decision was in God's CAPABLE hands.

An amazing thing happened yesterday. I got a check in the mail! Only it was not from my work it was from the school! I called them to make sure it was for me and it was correct! IT IS! The check gives me enough money to pay for the class to get back into the program and more!

I do not know why God continues to amaze me when prayers are answered. After all he tells me in His word that He loves me! (John 3:16) Yet when He answers my prayers I am surprised. This is the same God that created the universe! He is amazing! Yet, I doubt.

I can not say this will be an epiphany in my life and I will never doubt again. I am human. I am me, therefore I will doubt, whine, pout and cry. But God is All powerful! And He loves me enough to die for me even when I do not deserve it!
Thank You Lord for continuing to love me even when I am a spoiled brat!

I am not Just a Nurse!

I read a blog yesterday that made me want to say I am not Just a Nurse. In fact that was the title of it. SO I thought I would do my own blog about my career, what I think about being Just a Nurse.
I have been a nurse for 17 years. Most of which I have spent as a oncology or cancer nurse. So here goes!

Being a nurse is being someone who spends holidays and weekends while most other people are spending time with their families I have been with patients. Patients who needed me. What did they need me for you may ask. Well, they needed me to stand by their sides after the doctor gave them the news that their cancer was terminal. The treatments and medicines that were making them feel sick and taking all their energy did not work. They needed me to help their families now that they were tired of fighting this hard fight and stand beside them when they told them. They needed me to explain the new chemo or medication in English because the doctor told them this was the only way and they did not understand what he or she was saying. They needed me to make sure they were taken care of after that surgery make sure they got better enough to spend the next holiday with their family, because it may be the last time. They needed me to change the dressing on the wound from the surgery, pack it with gauze because it would not heal on its own so it was re-opened and needed to be packed and cleaned twice a day for how ever long it takes to heal. They needed me to clear their airway that was made in their neck, called a trach, because they could not breath without it and it fills up with mucous often they can not do it them selves  and neither could their families. They needed me to be the one who took care of them while  they had to lay flat for three days because radiation pellets and the apparatus to hold them were inserted into their body. They needed me to administer the chemo therapy that would kill the cancer and make sure it did not kill them in the process. They needed me to follow all the blood test and x-ray, CT and MRI reports and explain in English to them and alert the doctor when they needed more attention.

I am not by any way downgrading what doctors do; but their work is different from mine. Mine is to know how a patient feels and responds to a treatment. To report the side effects, symptoms and know how to take care of them and when to let the doctor know. Which medication to give to help them feel better and stop it.  Mine is to sit by the bedside and hold the hand of the patient who has fought the hard fight and now could not fight any more. Mine is  to help them stay as comfortable as I possibly can until their last breath.

I am an advocate for the patient. I am a compassionate ear. I am a healing touch. I am a NURSE, not just a nurse I am THE NURSE!

Wow it has been forever since I have been here

Hello, out there! It has been forever since I have been here. Six months almost, I think. That is when I took the job I am now about to quit. The job consumed my life so much that I did not have time to live my life. I spent every waking hour and some sleeping hours on the job. I struggled with decision to move on to another job since I have had such a hard time finding a full time job, but in the end I made the decision. It was easy once I focused on the true reason for life to follow the path the Lord has laid out for me and except His GRACE for my life. So when I was offered a position with Grace Hospice, I took it! I am a little scared to move into yet a new job but know this is where God wants me now. I am not sure what the future brings but I know the Lord is with me and will see me through!

I will return soon......much sooner than six months! ;)

Can't believe I made it to Hodge Podge!!!

1. What question do you often ask yourself?

I am not sure...I ask my self a bunch of questions...at this point I ask what do I do next?

2. Do you grow roses? What's your favorite color of rose?  Ever been given a dozen roses?  Where was the prettiest rose or rose garden you remember seeing?

No, I do not grow roses but would love to. I love red roses. I got a dozen of peach roses once at work my hubby sent them to me to surprise me....I was really surprised because he had never done that before.
The prettiest rose garden was in my grandmother's back yard every year in June the yard was full of red roses

3. Do you read the freshness dates on grocery store products?  Will you use eggs past their 'use by' date?  Take medication that's expired? Buy a dented can?

Actually I do check the dates. I am a stickler on expired things. I remember opening a bottle of salad dressing at the same grandmother from above it was expired by 3 years!!! It erupted like a volcano when we opened the top!

4. Should athletes be role models?

No I do not think athletes should be role models and while we are talking athletes I think they get paid WAY too much!! I think role models should be firemen and women, police men and women and soliders!

5. Edmund Hillary of New Zealand and Tenzing Norgay of Nepal became the first explorers to reach the top of Mt. Everest on this date (May 29) back in 1953. What's something you hope to achieve in your lifetime?

I want to get my Master's degree. I had to stop and take a leave of absence because of my new job....I want to finish it.

6. What would you do if you had twenty acres of land and the money to develop it any way you choose?

My hubby loves the woods we would probably clear two acres in the middle for our home and keep the rest wooded.

7. If I invite you to a party with a 7 PM start time, what time will I actually see you there?

i think since I am always late i would probably get there about 8 pm.

8.  Insert your own random thought here.

My new job has really sucked up my time...so much that I had to take a leave of absence from school as I said above. It has me wondering if this is really what I want. Yesterday out of the blue I got a call from a hospital I taught at for the college clinicals. they wanted to let me know they had two positions wanted to know if I was interested

Answers to Prayers are not always easy

There is something you want, something you need. You pray for it. Then your prayers are answered. Is it easy street from then on? I am here to tell you NO easy street is not always the way. I was unemployed as many of you know. I prayed for a job. A job came along. Then quickly after the job new opportunities in the job came and I prayed. I got the position offered. Now the really hard work comes and I am finding out I can not do this alone. Prayers got me this job and prayers will help me be the best I can be in this job! Especially when it gets hard and believe me it is right now.

I will ask all of those who follow this little blog please say a prayer for me to be able t do this job to the best of my ability and then let God take over and go that extra mile.

Emotions have no reason

It is crazy ya know, how emotions work. You think everything is going well and then before you know it smack the emotions are going crazy. I am sad and want to cry. I am mad and want to punch something. Next I want to get in my bed cover my head and hide from the world! Then I am fine, but my stomach can't keep up with the emotional roller coaster it is upset and nasty.

It seems crazy to me. I am a rationale person in a rational and critical profession. So this period of my life called menopause is not except-able and  want to scream like Archie Bunker once did to Edith "Get over it you have ten minutes" or close to that here I found the clip.

 http://youtu.be/1Mlsdobf2jA

It is really crazy. You can not control the emotions from one minute to the next.

Time flies and Blessings Flow

Hello everyone!!! Time flies when you are having fun! At least that is what they say! I have had many things going on and many blessing from those things so I thought I would share.

•  My dad had a heart attack a few weeks ago. He had a quadruple  by-pass a week ago Monday. BLESSING- He is home and doing well!! To look at him you would not know he had this surgery. He is in the best physical condition he can be in to make a complete recovery! Today he met with the doctors and he is very good! Does not have to see the surgeon again and return for the cardiologist is 1 year!!!

•  As I said in the previous post for Hodge Podge. I did get a job. It is crazy how it happened. I thought I was looking for a new church. I went to a few churches closer to my home. One of the churches had a flyer for a hospice company. I went to the web site and filled out the application for a hospice case manager and forgot about it. About a month later I got a call for an interview and got the job. I started working and after two weeks I was asked to interview for the Clinical Director of Hospice for this office. I got that job too! All this is strictly God's plan! It was in His hands from the beginning. It all revolved around our church. We have since gone back to our original church.

• My sister graduated from the University of Pittsburgh and passed her boards to be a Certified Nurse Anesthetist. Two hard years of work. Praise the Lord!! and she has a job at UPMC Mercy Hospital!

The new job has me running all over the place and working many hours right now because we are just starting out in the central region of Ohio. Some days I start early and don't get home until very late which was making a big stress on my school work for my Master's Degree in Nursing. So I had to make a hard decision to take a leave of absence for a few months. Since I have made that decision the stress is still there but not as intense with school too If I am tired I can fall into bed and not worry about meeting school deadlines. At least for a few months!

Hodge Podge i am here again!!!

1. Share one fun thing you did last week, while the Hodgepodge was on 'spring break'.

Well, I will do one better than that I have been off and on break for a while. What have I been doing??? STARTING A NEW JOB!!!!!! yes I got a job as a Hospice Case Manager about three weeks ago. Yesterday, I was promoted to the other job they had posted Clinical Director of Hospice!!! The second job I did not even apply for they just thought I was suited to do the job. So in three weeks I got a job and a raise!!! Is God good or what??

2.  April 10th is National Sibling Day...do you have siblings, and if so are you close? Share a favorite story featuring one or all of your siblings. If you don't have siblings, did you ever wish you did?

I have 7 siblings! Kind of a your mine and ours family. 4 of us all girls with my mom and dad. After they divorced my dad married my step mom who had 2 daughters, then my mom remarried and had 2 sons. So that makes 8 all together!
Gosh now you want a favorite sibling story.......Ok my brother Tom is the youngest. When he was born I was 16 years old. he was MY baby. When I moved out I would come to get him to come stay with me at my dad's house. One particular time I was babysitting him over night for my mom. he did not like to be away from mom so I told him there were bunny rabbits at my dad's house. he was about 3. He made me sit on the front porch of my dad's house for more than an hour before a rabbit came hopping out and he went to bed for the night!
I might add he is still a spoiled brat now at 30 something!

3. Is it important to you to 'buy American'? Why or why not? How much of an effort do you make to 'buy American'? If you're not American, insert your own country in the blank.

I think it is important to buy American. With that being said I do not own an American car. I have a Subaru. But in my defence they are built to last better. Even though some cars are foreign in design there are factories in America where they are built!

4. Besides The Bible, what book has impacted your spirituality in some way?

When I first became a Christian about 30 years ago. I was given a book called the Survival Kit for Christians. It taught me how to read the Bible, study it, memorize verses and help me to make the Bible a part of my daily life.

5. April showers bring May flowers or so the saying goes.  Do you find rainy days calming or depressing?  When were you last caught in a rainstorm? What's blooming in your neck of the woods today?

Rainy days do not bother me unless I am on the west coast and it rains FOREVER. I do love the sunshine but know we need the rain. I love the smell after the rain. (I am one of those weird people who associate smell with things)

6. What's your favorite yellow food?

Egg yoke


7. April is National Poetry Month...what's a poem that holds special meaning for you, and why is it special?
Two particular poems hold special meaning for me cause my kids wrote them my daughter wrote  The Window. It is a sad poem about a dark place looking out the window. But it is very special to me. My son also wrote his first poem. I can not remember the name because it is in Latin but it tells about the divinity of God.

8.  Insert your own random thought here.

I am so excited about my new job and raise all I can do is say PRAISE THE LORD!!!!! and THANK YOU FOR ANSWERED PRAYERS!!!

Five Minute Friday

The word is Rest....
What do I think of when I think rest...... I think about sleep most of the time because I do not do much of that these days. But a deeper thought comes to mind. "Rest in the Lord" but what does that mean? I am not one to sit idle and do nothing so when I rest in the Lord what do I do....recently we have decided to go to a new church, we moved to this area a year and half ago and do not really have a church home. I went to a Bible Study that is me all the way...It is called the Frazzled female. When I think of this frazzled female, me, I think of all the balls I am juggling in the air and am terrified that one will fall. What will I do? One did fall I lost my job I thought was permanent but turned out to be another temporary job. I fretted. I cried. I prayed. I starting again applying for a job. This is not supposed to happen to me nurses do not apply for unemployment I told the Lord. I got a call...I start a new job this week...
Stop

Better late then never Hodge Podge

 1. Do you play games of luck/chance for money? Have you ever played bingo for money? Visited a casino?  Placed a bet on a horse? Bought a lottery ticket?

Sometimes I play games of luck or chance in fact the power-ball is over 180 million and I have a ticket. If I am lucky there will be a super wonderful blog...If not life will go on as usual.

2.  Will you be preparing and/or dining on the traditional Corned Beef and Cabbage meal this St. Patrick's Day? Mashed-baked-hash browned-french fried...your favorite way to have potatoes?

I will not be dining on traditional Irish cuisine, not really a fan of it. Although I am Irish, my maternal grandfather was 100% Irish and there is Irish o my father's side too, I identify with my Italian side. Most likely because of my maternal grandmother who was 100% Italian. I do traditional Italian mostly.

3. What's the last thing you felt 'green with envy' over? 

I envy my children's in-laws because both of my children live closer to their in-laws than to me and these in-laws get to see my grandchildren much more than I do. I try not to think about it but it does rear its ugly head at times.

4.  What's at the end of your rainbow?

My grand children! They are my pot of gold. There pictures are all around my posts!

5. March 12th marks the anniversary of the death of Anne Frank (June 12, 1929-March, 1945).  Anne's diary detailing her time spent hiding from the Nazi's during the war ranks as one of the best selling books of all time.  Besides your blog, do you keep any sort of diary or journal?  Was this a habit you developed as a child or is journaling something new for you?

I love to write and I do it everywhere! I do it on my blog. I do it on my second blog http://beckyshortstories.blogspot.com/ I do it in notebooks. I have several around the house. I love to write. Someday I will write a book. Its on my bucket list!

6. What's an item in your home or closet that contains every color of the rainbow?

I did not think I did then I remembered a shirt I have. I think it has them alldoes it?

the shirt

7.  Write a limerick with you as the subject.  You can do it!!  Just remember this is a family friendly blog...don't make me get out my wooden spoon. 

There once was a girl from Ohio
Who wanted to rewrite her bio
She tried as she may
To make her own way
When she decided to rely on the Lord
All fell together with on accord.........(does that make sense???)


8.  Insert your own random thought here.


I GOT A JOB!!!!!! I start next Tuesday working as a Nurse Case Manager for a Hospice Company!!!
All I can say is Praise the LORD!!!!

Hodge Podge Wednesday

It is that wonderful time of week when we share a little of ourselves with the world. It't Hodge Podge time!! C ome and join in      http://www.fromthissideofthepond.com/


1. My real life friends came through with another question this week so thank you real life friends. When you've eaten in a restaurant do you complete their comment card? Do you take online surveys highlighted at the bottom of store receipts? 

No, most of the time I do not. I have on occasion did one but not regularly.

2. The (US) ban on women in combat was lifted at the end of January. It will probably be next year before specifics are worked out, but its been reported over 200,000 front line positions will eventually open up to women.  Your thoughts? 

I am very much torn on this because I had a daughter in the military. I think women should be able to do anything they are capable of doing.   The key words here are capable of doing. I would let my daughter be the one to defend the family if need be in an attack and never tell he she could not if she wanted to do it. With that being said there are some jobs just best suited for men.Face it we are different, and I am as independent as ever but.....

 3.  In looking back at all the blog posts you've written, what's your favorite post title? 

I would have to say weekend with dad. Just because.

4. What's worse-overly permissive parents or overly protective parents?  Did your own parents lean more to the permissive or the protective category?  If you're a parent where do you fall? 

Overly permissive parents are worse I think because the children have no boundaries. No consequences for wrong actions there for they do not learn what is wrong and right if they get away with everything.

My mom was the worker mostly; my step dad was mean. I lived with them most of my life from 11-17. I do not remember before that. Dad was in the middle somewhere.

I think I was in the middle also.


5.  Candlelight-moonlight-firelight-bright lights in the big city...which one's your favorite? 

I like the moon light...it is peaceful and calming.

6. Dr. Seuss's birthday was celebrated on Saturday. What's a favorite book you remember (Seuss or otherwise) from your own childhood?  Did books play an important role in your growing up years? Explain. 

My favorite book in childhood was Dr Seuss... It was and still is One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. I remember taking it out of the school library in grade school often. Books really did not play a big part in my life until I had children then I read to them regularly.

7.  To quote Dr. Seuss...

"From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere." 

from One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish

Share something funny you've recently read, seen or heard.  

From my daughter and grandson Remy while she was trying to get him ready to go to day care one morning so she could go to school.

Sharon- C'mon Remy it is time to get ready to go to Miss Donna's

Remy- as he jumps ups runs around the room and starts to dance- No mama it is time to dance!

He is two and a half and very sweet and unpredictable.

Remy

8.  Insert your own random thought here.

I am ready for warmer weather only because I am tired of having to get heating fuel! They will not give us credit because of the house in SC and everything going on with it but we need it so we must pay cash every time! Annoying. O how I wish I could fill the tank and be done with it!

Hodge Podge

1.  When were you last facing an ocean? Using just ONE word, describe how you felt as you faced that ocean. 

peaceful!

isle of Palms Charleston, SC

2. What are three sounds you hate to hear?

Hmm,  crying people. Kids having tantrums. nails on a chalk board....I think there may be more but you only asked for 3.

3. This question comes to you courtesy of some real life friends. Hi real life friends! When you shop for yourself, do you try everything on in the store before buying or do you buy, try on at home, and then return what you don't like or what doesn't fit?

Depends on my mood, sometimes I try stuff on and some times I don't.

4. February 26th is National Pistachio Day...are you a fan of the little green nut? Do you use them in cooking and baking or prefer to eat them right out of the shell?

I do love pistachio nuts! I eat them All the time!

5. When did you last have to compromise with someone?  Were you happy to reach the compromise or slightly irritated it was necessary? 

I am from a big blended family. We always have issues compromises have to be made continuously. The compromises are some times irritating for all.

6.  Have you ever written a letter to an elected official? Did you get a response?

When my daughter was trying to enlist in the army out of high school. She was denied because at one time her young life she had a diagnosis of exercise induced asthma, which she was totally  cured from when she graduated high school. So I sent a letter to our senator Strom Thurman. he helped her she did get into the army like she had dreamed.

7. We 'March' into a new month at the end of this week...what's something on your March calendar guaranteed to make you smile?

Visiting my son and daughter in law in Myrtle Beach SC. I miss their family so much. My grandsons are growing like weeds!

8.  Insert your own random thought here.
My mom had surgery two days ago she is doing well. She is staying with one of my brothers. I love you MOM!!!

Hodge Podge Time

1. When were you last 'on a mountaintop'?  You may answer in the literal or figurative sense.

Figuratively I am in the valley right now...moving up very slowly. 

Actually I have been on the mountain tops in Oregon a few times; Mt Hood and Sister's Oregon are both beautiful. I was there a few years ago.

Mt Hood

2.  Do you establish and maintain a strict budget in your household?  What is one piece of financial advice you would offer someone just starting out on their own? 

I do not which is why I worry so much about this time of no pay for me. I want to start a budget I am going to need to now, then keep it when things get better.

My advise to those starting out is to start a budget and live on it, so they know what to expect when the unexpected happens.

3.  Cherries-yay or nay?  Cherry pie, cherry cola, black forest cake, or a scoop ofBen and Jerry's Cherries Garcia...pick one. 

I am really not that fond of cherries. I will eat cheese cake with cherries.

4.  Should you ever discuss religion or politics with people you don't know? 

It is hard to talk politics and religion with my own family, so yes I think its not a good idea.

5.  When you take a road trip do you prefer to be the driver or the passenger?  Where were you headed on your last road trip? 

I like to be the passenger when my hubby is driving. That way I sleep safely while he drives. If I am not with him I like to drive.

6. If we peeked inside your closet, what color would we say is most prevalent?

I am really not sure I do have a lot of blue;but I have other colors too. I am not colortyped.

7. Who's your favorite senior citizen and why are they special?

I  would have to say my dad. He is my idol, my spiritual mentor, and just my dad. 

8.  Insert your own random thought here.

I am trying to put all this in God's hands and not worry or fret about not being able to find a job;but this is not easy. Every time I turn something else comes up. Like for instance. I had asked the pay roll department to break up my pay in two payments just so there would not be so much taxes taken out and I could pay everything off.  Well, they did not, so they took a very big chink out of it for taxes.  I did pay some bills, but will not be able to make the difference I wanted too.

I am trying to focus and keep positive through it all! Every once in a while I just have to let off steam!

Weekend with Dad

 I had an absolutely wonderful weekend even though the weather was awful. We went to Pgh so I could spend time with Dad. We got in late Friday after a snow storm made our three hour drive turn into six. I was supposed to drop hubby and his dog off at his brothers house then go to Dad's. But the weather was so nasty I spent the night at my brother in laws home with his family and our dogs, five in all and one crazy cat whose name is Willy (but they call him Bin Laden because he terrorizes the house). Saturday after we all went to brunch, I went to Dad's and spent the day there. It was wonderful! My dad is terrific and so is my step-mom! We had some deep conversations and some no so deep conversations. Just spending time together was great. Sunday morning we woke up again to snow everywhere; Dad drove us to church and then I went to get hubby and we came home.

I just love spending time with my dad. I have always been a daddy's girl at heart and even now that I am a grand ma I am still in my heart daddy's little girl!

Dad with grandson Remy this summer

Decisions to make

Some times decisions are hard to make. Like I was called from a nurse staffing agency. They told me they had positions in Oregon close to where my daughter lives. I called for the license and it is going to cost $300 to renew. I thought that meant SLAM that door closed! Today I was talking to my daughter. Her and her hubby are having babysitter troubles. The talked it over and decided that paying for my license to go there and work would be cheaper than paying a babysitter. The assignments are for 12  weeks which means I would be away from home for that long. I have done it before when my first grandson was born and she first moved to Oregon.

What I am trying to figure out now is what should I do? Let them pay for my license and go help them or continue looking for a job here?

I am at a loss???? Any suggestions? I told her to talk to her dad about it and if he was OK with it, I am too. What would you do??

Hodge Podge Time!!

1. This week marks the beginning of Lent... will you be giving something up or adding anything to your life during this season of the year?

I haven't really thought about it, to be honest. But I am doing a Bible Study right now called the Frazzled Female which encourages daily devotions. I am not very good at daily devotions. Time has always been my enemy but now in between jobs again, maybe this is the perfect time.

2. The day before Lent is Shrove Tuesday...traditionally you eat pancakes on this day. In some parts of the world Shrove Tuesday is actually known as 'pancake day'. How do you like your pancakes? Or don't you?

I have to say first I have never heard of the Tuesday before Lent to be called Shrove Tuesday or pancake day. I have heard of Fat Tuesday. 

Anyhow back to pancakes, I do like them. My favorite is from IHOP (international House of Pancakes) a, although I have not been there since moving here. The favored pancakes are honey nut with butter pecan syrup!! YUMMY!!! wish I had some now!!

3. I am sure there are many, but whats one love song you really love?

Always and Forever by Heatwave an older song but I have always loved it! I say it is mine and hubby's song. Although he does not remember it.

4. What are some things you do to let others know you love them?

I take care of them, help them. Listen when needed. Can't really think of anything else.

5.  Roses...red, pink, or do you prefer another color? Can you recall the last time someone gave you flowers? Given your choice would you like to open the door and see a dozen red roses, a dozen purple tulips, or a dozen pink peonies?

I love flowers, any kind of flowers!! Red roses are my favorite. So I would love to get a dozen red roses at my door. But the tulips sound pretty too.

6.  President's Day will be celebrated in America next Monday. Does US Presidential history and trivia interest you?  Many Presidential homes are open to the public and offer guided tours...Monticello (Jefferson's home), Mount Vernon (Washington's home), Montpelier (James Madison's home), Hyde Park(FD Roosevelt's home) and The White House (home to the sitting President) to name just a few. Of those listed which would you be most interested in touring?  Why?

I am not really a history person. I think it is cool and would go t any of the homes just to see the décor and what they looked like.

7.  Are you good at keeping secrets?

Mostly, yes. But I almost always tell my husband everything!

8.  Insert your own random thought here.

I am going to visit my Dad this weekend in Pittsburgh, PA. It is a three hour drive. My little dog Ollie is coming too. Dad is allergic to dogs but Ollie is hypoallergenic so he can come, Belle our lab pup is not so my hubby is going to stay with his brother and bring Belle. Belle’s biological brother is there so they can reunite and have some fun. We will all be together; Belle just can’t stay at dad’s that’s all. Looking forward to some Dad time!!!

it's Friday!!!

Some of the bloggers I follow do Friday Fragments so I thought I would give it a try.

My week this week has been chaotic to say the least. Monday was the last day of my class on Nursing research. I had to drop it before and retake it because I was failing it the first time so I was a little bit worried about it. Monday I turned in my final project and waited to see what my grade would be....I got an A-. I don't care about the MINUS it is an A! I am over the moon about that. I was so worried I would not pass it a second time! This time was a different teacher so the vibe of the class was different and it must have worked with me.
Earlier in the week I was talking about how I was trusting God and everything was wonderful. Well it is crazy because one day off track and I feel like a mountain has grown in front of me for me to climb. I am excited about the things the Lord has done for me even in these past two weeks but it is funny how taking your eyes off Him for a minute can send you right back to the darkness.
I had a bad morning. I was doing my best to focus on God but one thing after another kept jumping in my face. Then to make matters worse on my way to my last day with my clinical group with my cake and body parts (the body parts are for the students to practice procedures like catherization) I was driving down the long country road when I started to day dream about something, I have no idea what now, I saw a police car coming the opposite way. I looked at my speed I was going 70. I slowed down but as I did I saw him turn around in my rear view mirror. My stomach sank into my toes He got me! I got a speeding ticket! The police officer was nice and talked very pleasantly to me but he still gave me a TICKET!!!! I was BUMMED!!!
The girls in my clinical group made me feel better with a card and conversations that boosted my spirits.
Tomorrow is another day....and I plan to KEEP my EYES on my Jesus so no matter what comes my way mountain, speeding ticket I can handle it cause He is helping me handle it! I plan on having a great weekend!

Its Wednesday and that means Hodge Podge!

Its that wonderful time of the week where we get to learn just a little bit more about each other. It's Hodge Podge Wednesday!! Join us!

1.  Chinese New Year will be celebrated on February 10th, and 2013 is the year of the snake. When did you last see a snake?  Are you okay around snakes or do they give you the shivers? 

The last time that sticks out in my mind was years ago at Magnolia Garden's in Charleston, SC. My sister in law and I were on a stroll down the garden path when all the sudden came the biggest snake I had ever seen in my life! And he just slid across the path! I was TERRIFIED!! It was inches from me!!!! it went across the path and up a tree on the other side almost like he was saying excuse me while I cross this path to go to my tree. We almost ran out of the gardens and I never went back! that should tell you how I feel about snakes.

2. The color red in Chinese culture usually means good luck.  Do you believe in luck? 

No, I do not believe in luck but that does not mean I will not buy a lottery ticket every once in a while. 

3. sledding-ice skating-building a snowman...if given a choice, which activity would you choose?  Which of the three have you done most recently?  

None actually; I lived in South Carolina for 15 years! It does not snow there. With that being said every  time it snows now I want to run around in it and fall to the ground and make snow angles. Maybe my daughter when my daughter moves back home and my grandsons are close I can do those things. O, and I will!!All of them!!

4.  Ralph Waldo Emerson is credited as saying, "The years teach much which the days never knew."  Where have you seen this quote played out in your own life?  

I have been working as a nurse educator of first year nursing students since August of last year. I see it every day in their faces as they try to grasp the idea of nursing. It is not all book smarts there are many other aspects to it. I have tried to make them understand that because I know from experience. In school you learn the techniques and knowledge base but you can not fully know how to be a good nurse until you are a nurse.

5. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?  

A few months ago. 

6. What's something you can't say no to?  

Chocolate!!! I love it!! I crave it and then I HAVE to HAVE IT!

7.  Are you a doodler?  

Nope, I do doodle at times but mostly I am a writer. I write all kinds of stuff. I have another blog where I write short stories and poems. I have note books aroound the house with writings. Maybe someday I will write a whole book. I have thought about it many times!

8.  Insert your own random thought here.  

Last week on Tuesday I found out I will only have my job until the end of next week. They may need me in the fall but as now they do not need me any more. With that being said God has done amazing things for me in this past week. if I have peaked your interest read my last blog for details...... Praise the Lord for He is in control!!!!

God does amazing things....If we let Him

Yes that is right I said God does amazing things if WE let him. God is mighty, all powerful, loving. He can do all things do not get me wrong. But, He has given the freedom of choice. Choice of what we want to do. Do we want to follow Him? or not? Do we let Him be in control of our lives? Or do we just give Him so much and control the rest ourselves? I think many of us know this in our head, but do we practice it?

I am learning a valuable lesson right now. I started by kicking and screaming. I just knew I could not sit here and do nothing when I could be doing something. Let me elaborate. I am a nurse, I am a control FrEaK (your eyes are not playing games I did mess up my spelling with various types of letters). You see I am in control!! The problem with that is if I am in control where is God in my life? Do I let Him peek in here and there periodically? Do I even have time to seek him at all? In Matthew 6:33 Jesus states "Seek FIRST His Kingdom and His glory and all these things will be added to you." The verses before to put this into context talks about how anxious we are; God takes care of the birds and even the flowers. Then He tells us we are much more important than those and He will surely take care of us.
SO, when we moved across country, had to sell one house, buy another house, and I had to find a job to pay all the bills so we could live in the standard we were accustomed to living I knew exactly what to do. I emailed a friend in a city close to where we were moving (I thought) to get a job. We put the house up for sale. My hubby moved up first, he had the job that moved us. I moved up about a month later which would give me a little bit of a vacation before starting a new job which I got without much problem. Everything sounds perfect right? 
Well now it is a Jan 2013 that was July 2011; the house in SC is still for sale possibly going into a short sale or foreclosure, the perfect job I had was more than an hour away from where we were living and because of their union status I could be mandated to work over time which would make me work 16 hours in one day, drive home over an hour go to sleep then drive back to work that night. (I did get mandated once and refused because I had an appointment and was written up.) So since the job was not working I starting looking for another job closer to home. I got one, and I lost it two months later because I failed a test, basically it is a long story but the unemployment trail that happened after which it was decided I would not be eligible for unemployment because I failed that test, so... That was the end of May 2012. I was unemployed until August of 2012 and got the job I have now at a local College teaching first year nursing students. I thought this was permanent but on Feb 14 I will be done. Although I am working on my Master's degree in nursing, I do not have it yet so the state says I can not teach with out it unless there is one Masters degree nurse teaching for every Bachelors. They don't have that here, I was hired last. I also found out from my school because I was $200 short on my tuition I was being forced to take a break until I could pay the balance. I got this information last week on Tuesday. I was a total MESS!!! I did not want to talk to any one.......but my daughter called and God used her as my voice of wisdom. She said things like "things happen for a reason" and maybe this is not the path for you". Then she told me something remarkable ( remarkable to me because I would have never expected my daughter to tell me this) She said when you get off this phone go to a quiet place and do your devotion, meditate, or pray and let all the stress go and listen...  WOW!!! I did exactly what she said!
That was Tuesday, let me tell what happened Wednesday. I have always had a heart for crisis pregnancy ministries which help those who think they want to get an abortion; the new church I had started going to a few weeks before partnered with one. I called to volunteer. So Wednesday morning I went for an interview and orientation meeting. It was great! I am going to go at least once a week maybe more if they need me. After the meeting I went to the grocery store as I pulled into the parking lot I got a call from my school, where I am a student. My advisor told me my financial aid was due to come in and it would pay the balance in my tuition and also give me a refund! YEAH! but I am not done yet....  I need to take medication for a chronic illness I have and at the first of the year I was told because of my insurance and it was the first of the year I had a deductible to meet and my medication would be over $100 a month until I met it. I called that day to find out exactly how much I needed to drain from my minimal savings to pay for this medication, they told me the medication was free! That is right FREE!!!!!!

I have been singing God's praises since then!!! The next day while doing my devotion and quiet time a verse came to my mind. It is a Bible verse everyone has heard, but I heard it in my head in a completely different way that day. The verse is John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He sent His only begotten Son that who so ever should believe in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." This is the way I heard it.... "For God so loved ME that He sent his only begotten SON.....because He loved ME...enough to die for ME".... WOW!!!!

At this moment I have no idea what is going to happen on February 15 and beyond.... I have no idea how my bills are going to get paid.... I have no idea if I will get a job.... BUT I do know that if I put God FIRST and let Him be in control...He is going to take care of me (of us).