Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Trying to figure out what to do

Since I was sick last week I have been having trouble with panic attacks again. I only had one full blown panic attack and that was the night that started the whole sickness. I got nauseated and then really sick! But the nausea started the panic attacks again. All week I have been fighting not to have a panic attack. I thought this was over! I haven't had one for a long time and have been off the medicine for almost 6 months, now this! I was at work today taking care of patients and all the time fighting a panic attack. I do not understand why this is happening. I have nothing to be panicky about. I am truly blessed. Yet here I am. There is no doubt only fear and I do not know of what. I get this sudden feeling of doom and like I am having trouble breathing but I am breathing fine. Then I feel like I want to run home to my bed and pull the covers over my head because that is only place where it is safe. I sing hymns to myself to occupy my mind so I can stop the focus on the fear and slowly it subsides only to rise again a few hours later for no reason at all. I thought it was over and I would never have to go through this again. Granted it is not as bad as the first time but maybe that is what I am afraid off that it will get that bad again so where I literally spend days in bed. O Lord please help me with this. I do not know what to do. Maybe I'll just make a doctors appointment for tomorrow and talk to the doctor and tell her its happening again. ..........Just needed to get this all off my chest....

2 comments:

Dee said...

Hi, I am so sorry you are haveing to battle your panic attacks again. Trying to focus on anything but your panic and talking about it is one of the best ways. If you continue to have them i would see a doctor. You don't need to suffer.You have a really full plate right now and hearing from your cousin may have stirred up repressed emotions. Take care and lean on the Lord. I will be praying for you. Dee

Gina said...

I know what it is like to have PAs! I am so sorry you are going through this. There is so much going on in your life right now, so try to relax and take one moment at a time. I realize that this is better said than done, but I will be praying for you.