I am feeling much better today. I talked it out with my small group last night and today I have a better attitude.
I got a call from my mother's sister last night basically telling me we are calling the nursing home my grandmother is in too much my mom, sister and me. She said the nurses complained because we were calling basically every day and disturbing the nurses. I do not know why she called me. I was trying to figure that out. Maybe because I am a nurse and would think she was telling me the truth? Maybe because she did not want to talk to my mom? I was civil on the phone and hung up with out any pleseantness. It upset me at first I thought here we go the next step of them taking my grandmother away from me. I talked to my mom who said she was going to buy my grandmother a cell phone we could call. I thought after talking to mom I would call occasionally but I would vow to send myt Nana a card, note or some kind of greeting everyweek. That way she could remember everytime she sees it that I love her. That idea made me feel really good so I got together her first package with pictures of the new baby and a card from me. I will send it on Saturday when I can get to the post office; it is a bigger envelope and I want to make sure I get the right postage.
I have a better attitude now. I can not pray for nice things for them right now because the wound is too fresh. I am calmer and do not want to punch anyone today. That is a good first step I think. Praying for them will come in time.
Thank you for all the support! I honest and truely appriciate it!
My son I love you more than words can say. You your sister and your dad are always there for me and I praise the Lord for all of you!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
I am hurt and angry.....I would just like to punch them
Well more hurtful words from my Pitsburgh family have come. My mom talked to the lady at the state office that needs the paper work detailed in last post. The lady from the state called my mom's brother in law (whom I will never again call uncle, because that term is reserved for family and he is not any longer). Then mom's bil (brother in law) called mom stating she was getting 15 days to get paperwork together which the state lady had already discussed with my mom. He also said if it was not done on time he was suing her and me! Mom and my Nana(grandmother) stayed with me in my house for 1 1/2 years paying only $150.00 a month for every thing. I actually used it to get food for all of us! Now he is saying that I stole money from my grandmother too!
I am so angry and hurt I could punch him and his whole family! They stayed here basically rent free. When my mom was sick I took care of my grandmother and if I was not here my husband kept an eye on her. We paid for a roof over their head, water, electric, cable, even their medicine at times. No one from their family offered to keep my grandmother in their home. I did! By the way they also accuse me of kidnapping my nana. She is and was completely alert and knew exactly what was going on. She knew and wanted to come stay here with me and my mom. I am hurt because these people are my family. There has been tension in the past with my mom but I have always been close to these people. My cousin was supposed to be my best friend. They obvously do not know me at all and it hurts.
As I was driving down the road crying to God about this and stating I did nothing wrong why are they doing this to me a thought come to my mind. Jesus did nothing wrong and suffered far more thatn I am. I know God is with me in this and will take care of me. I am not ready to pray for them but I will try.
I am so angry and hurt I could punch him and his whole family! They stayed here basically rent free. When my mom was sick I took care of my grandmother and if I was not here my husband kept an eye on her. We paid for a roof over their head, water, electric, cable, even their medicine at times. No one from their family offered to keep my grandmother in their home. I did! By the way they also accuse me of kidnapping my nana. She is and was completely alert and knew exactly what was going on. She knew and wanted to come stay here with me and my mom. I am hurt because these people are my family. There has been tension in the past with my mom but I have always been close to these people. My cousin was supposed to be my best friend. They obvously do not know me at all and it hurts.
As I was driving down the road crying to God about this and stating I did nothing wrong why are they doing this to me a thought come to my mind. Jesus did nothing wrong and suffered far more thatn I am. I know God is with me in this and will take care of me. I am not ready to pray for them but I will try.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Aliens in this world
I know I am an alien to this world. I have heard it many times. In this world we have many wonderful miracles from our Lord births of babies, marriges of loving people, cures for diseases,even the nature around us that scream His name. Why does it seem like when God sends a miracle the world sends a disappointment. As a Christan woman I try to focus on the Word of God and act as I should to the world to let them know I am a Christ follower. As a human woman I get angry at certain things and want to strike out.
I should explain a little. As you know we were blessed by a beautiful baby boy a few days ago. I took my mom, who got hurt at work a few weeks ago and was depressed, up to see our baby. It was wonderful. The visit was magical. My daughter in laws family is wonderful and welcome us into their home, where she and my son live with open arms. It was truly wonderful.
Today my mom got a call from her sister, her only sister. Just to give you some back ground my mom took total care of my grandmother without any help from her sister for 8 years; 16 total is you count the first operation my gram had to bring my mom back to her home town and move in with my gram. About 1 1/2 years ago my mom moved and brought my grandmother here. I along with my mom took care of her here(with no help for sister I might add). Mom moved into her own place with my grandmother and then Nana (my grandmother) got to much for mom to handle and she had to go to a nursing home. Sister decided her mother should be moved back to Pittsburgh, so they arranged it and mom took Nana back to Pittsburgh. While my mom was taken care of my grandmother her sister kept accusing her of stealing my grandmothers money. My grand mother had a small account to bury her and her ssi check got deposited into a saving account attached to a checking account with her and moms name on it. Mom used Nana's money to help pay bills, which it what is would have been used for if my grandmother lived on her own, ya know. Well back to the present. mom was supposed to send paper work on the bank account up to the nursing home where my grandmother is staying she got hurt and was unable to move the boxes, so she has not done it yet. Today she got a call from her sister who told her she was suing her for stealing my grandmother money. Because the lady called my aunt to tell her she had not gotten paperwork from my mom yet. When my mom tried to tell her sister she fell and was hurt unable to lift anything her own sister told her she did not care about her problems and she was suing her. It made me so mad I just wanted to call her and tell her off, punch her or something like that.
Of course I will not but it just made me think about how much we are aliens to this world. God preforms a beautiful miracle and evil has to make something happen to take away the joy. It makes me sad to think about someone so bitter; but I choose to instead focus on the Joy the Lord has given me and my new sweet sweet grandson.
I should explain a little. As you know we were blessed by a beautiful baby boy a few days ago. I took my mom, who got hurt at work a few weeks ago and was depressed, up to see our baby. It was wonderful. The visit was magical. My daughter in laws family is wonderful and welcome us into their home, where she and my son live with open arms. It was truly wonderful.
Today my mom got a call from her sister, her only sister. Just to give you some back ground my mom took total care of my grandmother without any help from her sister for 8 years; 16 total is you count the first operation my gram had to bring my mom back to her home town and move in with my gram. About 1 1/2 years ago my mom moved and brought my grandmother here. I along with my mom took care of her here(with no help for sister I might add). Mom moved into her own place with my grandmother and then Nana (my grandmother) got to much for mom to handle and she had to go to a nursing home. Sister decided her mother should be moved back to Pittsburgh, so they arranged it and mom took Nana back to Pittsburgh. While my mom was taken care of my grandmother her sister kept accusing her of stealing my grandmothers money. My grand mother had a small account to bury her and her ssi check got deposited into a saving account attached to a checking account with her and moms name on it. Mom used Nana's money to help pay bills, which it what is would have been used for if my grandmother lived on her own, ya know. Well back to the present. mom was supposed to send paper work on the bank account up to the nursing home where my grandmother is staying she got hurt and was unable to move the boxes, so she has not done it yet. Today she got a call from her sister who told her she was suing her for stealing my grandmother money. Because the lady called my aunt to tell her she had not gotten paperwork from my mom yet. When my mom tried to tell her sister she fell and was hurt unable to lift anything her own sister told her she did not care about her problems and she was suing her. It made me so mad I just wanted to call her and tell her off, punch her or something like that.
Of course I will not but it just made me think about how much we are aliens to this world. God preforms a beautiful miracle and evil has to make something happen to take away the joy. It makes me sad to think about someone so bitter; but I choose to instead focus on the Joy the Lord has given me and my new sweet sweet grandson.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
7 things about me
Ok, I was first tagged by Cindy and then by Donna so I will add my seven things about myself.
1. Although I was never sold Mary Kay like Cindy and Donna I sold Avon for a year or so. Never really made any money always owed more than I got. That was before I was a nurse. I also before nursing worked as a gas station cashier in one of those locked behind the window places. I also worked in a store that made homemade ice cream and candy (that was a delicious job I had an ice cream break every time I worked!), and in a mail order pharmacy first in the packing department and then as pharmacy tech. I worked in a factory when I was much younger for exactly 11 days got reprimanded for getting up from my machine to get a drink of water and left at break time never went back.
2. I am second to the oldest in my family of eight brothers and sisters. I have 2 step sisters one older and one younger than me. Three sisters all younger, and two half brothers younger than me. But as far as I am concerned we are just all brothers and sisters.
3. Like Donna I too love to write. I write short stories and poems. I had a couple articles published in a nursing magazine and a few poems published on poetry.com. I would love to write a book but do not think I have enough to say for a whole book. My dad and step mom told me I should just write about our family. They say the drama could be a top mini series. I have to agree with that part.
4. I am a nerd at heart. I love to read and I love the computer. But I was a total pothead when I was in high school. (It was in the 70's a total life time ago before Christ.)
5.I love to read fiction any kind of fiction. I like romance but not the trashy stuff. I read a lot of Danielle Steele had to stop for a while. I love suspense right now I am hooked on Dean Koontz. (Between school work that is)
6. I am in college on the Internet to get my bachelor's degree in nursing and want to continue to get my masters and maybe teach nursing students.
7.I am sometimes afraid of the dark; well not really the dark I think it is what is in the dark that I can not see. There are always lights on at my house.
1. Although I was never sold Mary Kay like Cindy and Donna I sold Avon for a year or so. Never really made any money always owed more than I got. That was before I was a nurse. I also before nursing worked as a gas station cashier in one of those locked behind the window places. I also worked in a store that made homemade ice cream and candy (that was a delicious job I had an ice cream break every time I worked!), and in a mail order pharmacy first in the packing department and then as pharmacy tech. I worked in a factory when I was much younger for exactly 11 days got reprimanded for getting up from my machine to get a drink of water and left at break time never went back.
2. I am second to the oldest in my family of eight brothers and sisters. I have 2 step sisters one older and one younger than me. Three sisters all younger, and two half brothers younger than me. But as far as I am concerned we are just all brothers and sisters.
3. Like Donna I too love to write. I write short stories and poems. I had a couple articles published in a nursing magazine and a few poems published on poetry.com. I would love to write a book but do not think I have enough to say for a whole book. My dad and step mom told me I should just write about our family. They say the drama could be a top mini series. I have to agree with that part.
4. I am a nerd at heart. I love to read and I love the computer. But I was a total pothead when I was in high school. (It was in the 70's a total life time ago before Christ.)
5.I love to read fiction any kind of fiction. I like romance but not the trashy stuff. I read a lot of Danielle Steele had to stop for a while. I love suspense right now I am hooked on Dean Koontz. (Between school work that is)
6. I am in college on the Internet to get my bachelor's degree in nursing and want to continue to get my masters and maybe teach nursing students.
7.I am sometimes afraid of the dark; well not really the dark I think it is what is in the dark that I can not see. There are always lights on at my house.
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