Saturday, December 6, 2008

My Nana

My grandmother whom we have always called Nana is the white haired lady in the pictures. She will be 95 on December 15. She is a wonderful lady. I love her very much. She was born when her family was on their way to America from Italy in 1913. She lived and spent most of her life in Pittsburgh, PA. She worked until she was almost 80 years old before she could not work any more. In my eyes she has always been a strong lady. She is my friend, and grandmother. I have spent lots of time with her. She was a babysitter for my kids when they were little because my mom lived in another state. Sometimes we would just go visit and hang out, or go shopping for no reason at all. I have always spent lots of time with her until I moved to SC then I would call and talk to her several times a week. For the last 16 years my mom has lived with her and taken care of her because my aunt could not and would not. Up until May 2007 my mom lived in the house she grew up in with my grandmother. After my son got married my mom got sick and moved here for me to help her with my grandmother; because none of the other family could or would. That includes my aunt, Nana's only other child, my cousins three of them, my two sisters and my brother. Mom decided to move here because my other sister and I were here. She lived in my house with my grandmother for one whole year without any help from above family. My aunt and her family did however gripe about how my mom spent my grandmother's money. (Her social security check she got once a month. For some reason they thought she should have bunches of money, but all she got was $1000 a month to live on and pay for her insurance and life necessities.) When it got to the point that my mom could not take care of her anymore my Nana was placed in a very nice, really nice, nursing home here in SC. My aunt and her family, my uncle is in charge of Nana's money, decided she should move back to Pittsburgh. SO they made mom feel awful and started proceedings to move Nana to a nursing home in Pittsburgh.
She moved yesterday. It was a bad day for us here. I drove them to the airport at 4am. Explained to my Nana several times ( she kept forgetting) where she was going, and that I would not be there. She kept asking me where I would be. I told her I live here and probably would not be able to see her for a little while because of winter weather in the mountains. She would agree then ask in a few minutes. "I am going there, you are staying here?" Every time making the lump ion my throat bigger and bigger. I kissed and hugged her good bye at the gate knowing in my heart this may be the last time I see her.(I cried all the way home!)
Mom said when they got there her sister and my sister met her. My Aunt took Nana in her car and my sister took my mom. They went to the place my aunt had set up for Nana. Mom said it was like going form Taj Mahal to the ghetto! The place in Pittsburgh is a state run nursing home. Once they got to the place my grandmother will stay my Nana just started to cry! She told my mom she did not belong there because all the people there were crazy, sitting in the halls around the nursing station mumbling, and screaming, talking nonsense to no one at all. Mom tried to explain it was not all like that.
My aunt told my mom on the ride from the airport Nana kept asking for my mom. My aunt told mom not to tell Nana she was leaving to come back home here so she would not be sad about it. We, all mom's kids including me,told her "DO NOT LEAVE THERE WITHOUT EXPLAINING WHY SHE IS THERE!! THIS IS NOT YOUR DECISION BUT THEIRS AND NANA SHOULD KNOW YOU DID NOT DO THIS TO HER!" I called mom several times yesterday she was a mess.
I do not understand why it was important to move her from a place where she was happy just because they want her around when they think they need her. Here my mom sister and I were there at least once a week most times more.We took her out on trips to the store or out to dinner, she came to my house for every little thing I did here. Up there although there is more family around I know in my heart she will get as much company as often. My biggest problem is for almost 2 years nobody bothered to come here to visit her; and when mom took her up there they did not spend much time with her either! ( my sisters and brother did my aunt and her family did not)
I have such strong angry feelings towards them (my aunt and her family) for doing this and causing all the turmoil they have for the last 2 years. They would never have taken care of my gram like my mom did and would have continued to do. They only were thinking about their own selfishness. They want her there because we might want to see her sometime. Why are some families so SELFISH!!
I do not know when I will get a chance to go back to Pittsburgh. My son and his wife are about to have a baby. Nana is no longer here to see our baby. We will have to bring the baby to her. It makes me sad.


lookuptoday said...

Hi Your nana is very pretty and does not look 90! i am so sorry you are facing this situation. Unfortunately it is a very common family dysfuntion. My only suggestion is to above all pray for Nana, send her cards with lots of pictures, talk about the good times and reassure her you are their for her and will visit as often as possible. God puts us each on different life journeys and your Nana is still on hers. God will honor your prayers for Nana. Enjoy the new grand baby to come. Nana wil be ok. Try to forgive the family, only the Lord can help you do this. Your in my prayers. Dee

Donna's Book Nook said...

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I agree with Dee; send lots of cards and pictures and pray for her. The Lord will take care of her.

Enjoy your new grandbaby. I will probably never have any grandkids, and I feel like I'm missing something special. Donna