Thursday, June 4, 2009

Dark Places

This is me, Sharon and Ethan at my son's wedding two years ago.

I spoke to my daughter today. She is not happy. It breaks my heart to hear her cry. My daughter as a child was a very perky little girl involved in church. Then teen age years came and she got into the goth thing, she dressed all in black, wore black makeup and nail polish before it was the thing to do. She also get into witch craft. I think she got much further into it than I ever thought she was. I was so blind when she was a teen. We butted heads all the time. She scared me sometimes with the things she said and did. Then she graduated high school and got went into the army. She met my son in law; they got married. He is so different from her. He also grew up in church and although he does not go to church professes to be a Christan. He is a cowboy at heart and at times very lazy. He will put off doing something until the very last minute and will not initiated anything new. Her and I got closer when she went into the army we used to write letters to each other all the time and now we talk every day. Sharon seemed to change once she got married. She wasn't so against God any more she even said she believed in God again. (I was elated!) From time to time I talk to her when she has had a fight with her husband and needs to talk. Then things get better again. Today when I talked to her she scared me again. She was talking about how she is not happy and she feels like she is being suffocated. She said she feels like she is loosing herself and does not know who she is. She told me my grandson is the only reason she has to live. She said she would never do anything to herself but, she has cut herself before when she was a teen and a few months ago she showed up with a big cut on her leg she could not explain.

I know she needs the Lord in her life she has so many demons she has let into her life and know she is fighting them everyday without the Lord. I pray for her all the time. I know the Lord loves her if only she knew!


Donna's Book Nook said...

Becky--I am so sorry for your heartache and pain over your daughter. It is SO difficult when you want only the best for them.

I went through a very dark place for several years with my son. He is still suffering some of the consequences of his behavior, as he is currently in jail, but he has come back to the Lord in recent months. I am so thankful for that, and just need to trust the Lord on a daily basis for him.

I'll pray for your daughter. Don't ever give up!! Donna

Glenda, saved by grace said...

I feel your pain. Some of my children are not walking with the Lord and it breaks my heart.
I'm praying with you!

Dee said...

I am also praying for you my friend. Dee

Washer Mom Val said...

You've shared from your heart - I'll pray for you and your daughter from my heart.

beckymc said...

Thank you all for your prayers. You could keep Sharon in your prayers for salvation that would be wonderful. The Lord is great and He knew what He was doing when he put together my daughter and son in law. My son in law loves her and does not want to do anything to mess up their marrage. They had a long talk and Sharon told me they are good and she can not understand why he loves her so much when she is such a pain. He loves her because the Lord put him in Sharon's path and she will come around. I have faith!

Anonymous said...

Becky--I don't know how old your daughter is, but I suspect we are not far apart in age. I can relate to some of what she is expressing. I don't know if she lives here, or if she would even be interested, but I would be more than willing to befriend her. She sounds like she could use someone to lean on, and you know I could offer her a lot of strength and support.