Willpower??

Sometimes I wake up in the morning for no reason at all I have a funny feeling in my stomach and then I start thinking this is the feeling that gives me panic attacks. Since I am now on medication for panic attacks I no longer get then but I do every once in a while get that funny feeling in my stomach. Today I checked my blood sugar and it was high 267 high! I am afraid of my blood sugars. I can not figure out how to eat well. I am trying so hard. The problem is sometimes I find myself eating before I know what I am doing. WHY?? I do not know. I wish I did. It has nothing to do with willpower. I have the will power I really want to do the right thing. But then I don't! I am a nurse I know what diabetes can do and I am afraid. I want to go to the gym next week three times. I joined curves a few months ago I want to go 3 times please pray that I can.