I am awake late into the night again and I shouldn't be. I should be sleeping peacefully like my husband in there. But no I am awake so here I am. I have to get up in a few hours for work again so after this I will lay in bed and God willing fall asleep. I had a busy hectic chaotic day at work today. I am not complaining it comes as part of the territory. I work with patients who are mostly diagnosed with head and neck cancer. If they are on my unit the usually have several other problems too. These are some very sick people and I feel I have been placed here to help the patients and my colleagues. So today I will not bore you with all the technical medical stuff but what I will tell you is everyone was working hard today and all deserve a pat on the back which I did with several of the staff. We ran so crazy, I was in charge today, I told them we should all end with a group hug on days like this. Few laughed, couple gave me a hug, one particular nurse who was EXTREMELY busy today, whom I spent most of my day helping, told me she was going to her car to cry all the way home then she gave me a hug and thanked me for my help.
After reading all this about how we want to cry and how hard the work is you may think why do we do this to ourselves. I can only speak for me but from the commitment I see from the nurses on our floor I think the may feel the same way.
I do this because this is where God wants me to be. This is my calling, I can not imagine myself doing anything else. I do this for my patients who are sick and in pain and need someone to care for them to help them get back to their optimal health so they can carry on their lives. I do not do this for glory because there is very little glory in nursing. I do it for the people who are sick and need the help that only I can give them. The ones who need me to be the voice to the doctor about how bad their pain is or why the can not sit in that chair today. I do this because I am the advocate for my patient who stands guard of them making sure their best interest is being taking care of. To make sure the right med is given at the right time to the right patient in the right form. I do this because I am a nurse, I was born to do this and I will do it until I know I have completed the mission set before me.
Now I really should try to get a few hours of sleep because the craziness starts bright and early at 7am again and I am again in charge.