Friday, July 9, 2010

When I least expect it

I have never said I was a brave person, but I think I am a confident person. I know who I am and I am OK with it. I have to say I do have issues with my weight which has given me diabetes but other than that I think I am OK. I am usually a go getter. I go where I want when I want. I think I am mostly a positive person and am able to get things done. Then from out of no where it happens. I get shaky, I have trouble catching my breath, I get pain in my arms that travels to my chest and the feeling of certain doom. PANIC ATTACK!!! I do not know why it happens, it just does. It started about 3 years ago. My doctor put me on medication and told me I would not have to be on the medication for ever. SO after several months, I was feeling better and I got off the meds just like the doctor told me to I weaned off and everything was fine for a few months. Then it happened again. SO she started the meds again. This last time I came of the meds I had been sick for three days and not able to take anything by mouth so I did not have the meds for days and we thought OK so lets stop this medication now. Well about two weeks ago it happened again; after the initial panic attack it seems I panic more about having another panic attack. I even get shaky about it and want to hide in my bed. I have to force myself to get out of bed and move. I am OK when on the meds, I just need to reserve myself that I have to take this medication or have these attacks. So I am taking meds so I do not have panic attacks any more and I will for the rest of my life, because I will not suffer form this forever. It takes away who I am. It makes me afraid of everything. All I want to do is stay in my bed, and that is no way to live.
I am a firm believer that God has allowed us to make the modern marvels of medication that we have to combat the ills of the world.

1 comment:

Dee said...

There is nothing wrong with taking medications.I agree with Donna about looking at it like a chronic illness. Nothing to be ashamed of. Did you have some kind of emotional trauma three years ago? I read that can be a trigger for panic attacks. It is kind of like the straw that broke the camels back theory.I have had them a couple of times feel like you are dying! Keep leaning on the Lord till it passes. Hugs from Dee