Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I have a problem

The first part to overcoming a problem or addiction is admitting it. Well that's what I am doing I have a problem with food. It is far worse than just needing to go on a diet. I am a diabetic and I am a nurse. I know the complications. I know the risks. Yet I still eat the wrong things and at the wrong times. Sometime before I even realize what I am doing I am eating something. It scares me sometimes really. I pray about it all the time and still I eat way too much. O not when everyone is looking or when there are people around but when I am alone late at night mostly.Kevin will go to bed and I will eat left over dinner at 11o'clock at night. Then I feel bad because I ate that late and before I know it I have eaten more. I even think about eating when I am trying to fall asleep. Thought of left over dinner, or a bowl of cereal, or just a piece of peanut butter toast will arouse me from a almost sleep state and I HAVE to get up and eat something. My blood sugars are not good. I am having to change my medication again.
last year at this time I was on a rigorous diet and exercise program. I lost 15 pounds then got sick and lost 15 more. 30 pounds! I have gained all but 5 pounds back. I need help but I do not know where to go. I have joined Curves but never go. I feel helpless!

Dear Lord, You know my heart and my desire to do this please help me to gain control of this and do what I need to do. I scared Lord. I need food to live but it seems i live to have food. It consumes my thoughts when I am alone. I want to be around to see my grandchildren graduate high school, get married and have children. I will not be there if I do not get this under control please help me.

1 comment:

Cindy (Letters From Midlife) said...

I understand the struggle. I'll be praying for you to be strong but I do know how hard it is.