Thursday, January 12, 2012

Feeling Sorry for Myself but God said NO

I went to look at a house this morning with my husband. I was half a sleep after traveling all day yesterday and getting to bed at 3am. I looked at the house; he found a crack in the wall that could be foundational. I came home moping thinking here we go again. I went back to sleep because I had to come to work tonight. I woke up and was feeling sorry for my self. I kept thinking why is this happening? Why can't we find a place to live? Should we go back to SC?  I really do not want to go back right now I am liking being close to my dad. I went to the store to get some lunch stuff for hubby and I who were both working tonight. He wanted me to get some sandwich he found and liked. I could not find it. SO I got a different one. When I came home he said this is not the right one and like a crazy person I started to cry.  He asked me why I was crying and of course I did not know, so I made up some excuse then left for work. ( I had so many things going through my head, I miss my kids and grandkids already, I came home to the small apartment again, had to climb to the third floor, you don't like your sandwich, you might not like this house, how long can we do this, where are we gonna live.......)

I tried to call my daughter, she was not answering; I tried to call my step mom she was not answering. I kinda felt alone then a song came on the radio. God is God by Stephem Curtis Chapman.......the words are here http://www.christianlyricsonline.com/artists/steven-curtis-chapman/god-is-god.html
This was the first song I heard. The rest followed suit like He was talking to me and letting me know He has a plan that I can not see right now. As the words say God is God and I am not. I can only see part of the picture He's painting. God is God and I am man; SO I'll never understand it all For only God is God.
As I continued to listen to the words of the songs that played as if they were only playing for me I started to feel better.

Although, I do not understand I will pray for God to reveal His plan. I will contiue to pray we find a house and be happy and cheerful, try not to whine so much.

2 comments:

The Henry Crew! said...

Oh how I wish I could take you out for coffee and let you vent and then pray with you! I'm so glad, though, that God knew exactly what you needed, right when you needed it - when sandwiches and travel exhaustion and husbands and everything else fails, God is There and is the One Who Will Not Change and who loves you SOOO much! I will be praying for you - for peace, for rest, and for a home to live in! Have a truly blessed day...

Marti said...

Life is full of wrinkles, sort of like an old wise person's face. It is the problems that help up mature and grow. You will get your house in God's time.