Thursday, May 10, 2012

Feeling Blue had to get it out

Since I got home from New Orleans I have been feeling a little blue. Actually I started feeling blue in New Orleans. O, I had a great time at the conference. I learned so much it was great. After the conference though I was in New Orleans for 2 days by myself. To some that would not be a bad thing but I have a tendency to drop into the negative when alone. I get into the poor poor me mood. Probably because one of the days I was alone in New Orleans was my birthday. I did get calls, texts and facebook messages from every one even got to Skype with my west coast boys. I just started wishing I had someone to share the trip with for the extra two days. Kevin was supposed to come with me but money would not allow; then my mom tried but there was a money issue there too. So I did it alone. I was proud of myselfyes because I took the trip alone now I just got in this blue mood I can't seem to get myself out of.

I am not sure if it is because I was alone on the trip because it really was not that bad just kinda wished someone was there with me or because of this money thing. We have been trying to sell the house in SC for a year now (It will actually be a year June 1 close enough) Now we are trying to pay two mortgages and I feel like we are drowning. I called the mortgage company for the house in SC but they will not help us even though they said our monthly expenses were $1000.00 more than we make a month. They do not believe our calculations. They said I spend too much on food and groceries. Do you believe that!

Going to the conference made me realize I hate the job I am doing now because I am a cancer nurse and have been for 13 years. I love what I do!Heart Shell Basically when I was recruited to work here it was closer to home and it was a cancer floor so I went for it.  But I am not on a cancer unit it is a glorified med/surg unit. (For those of you who do not know what that is it is a mix of every sick person, not cancer patients just you're run of the mill sick patients. Also cardiac (heart) patients. I do not like working with cardiac patients can't make the cardiac stuff stick in my brain. Its like algebra to me I don't like it so I don't do it. I can't remember it unless it is right in front of my face.
Now I can not do anything about my job because we need to pay our ever increasing bills. So I am stuck!! I hate that feeling!It's Not Fair
Bright side I will graduate with my Master's degree in Dec of next year. But what do I do for now!SadI know I should not be feeling sorry for my self but right now I can't help it.


Tina said...

We are entitled to feel bad for ourself once in awhile, because if we don't nobody else will. Hope you are feeling better soon. I know it's sometimes hard to get out of this funk. Been there plenty of times!

Washer Mom Val said...

Oh sweetie....May your blues turn to roses.....
Here are a few of my favorite blue things.....Bluebells, blue earringss that sparkle, blue water on a lake or beach, blue icing on a chocolate cupcake, blue eyes of someone I love.....find your fave blue things then remember God had you in his hands with that ultimate plan!

Dee said...

Becky I am sorry that you are blue... financial stress is probably the main culprit. It probably would be more tolerable for you if you were doing the job you love to do...stay in prayer over it and remember this soon shall pass. Find something you love to do that is not work related and do it. It will help.

Anonymous said...

attitudes are more important than facts...
good luck with everything going on..
i am your newest follower..pls follow back if you can.
conrats to on being so lose to that degree....good for you!