Since I got home from New Orleans I have been feeling a little blue. Actually I started feeling blue in New Orleans. O, I had a great time at the conference. I learned so much it was great. After the conference though I was in New Orleans for 2 days by myself. To some that would not be a bad thing but I have a tendency to drop into the negative when alone. I get into the poor poor me mood. Probably because one of the days I was alone in New Orleans was my birthday. I did get calls, texts and facebook messages from every one even got to Skype with my west coast boys. I just started wishing I had someone to share the trip with for the extra two days. Kevin was supposed to come with me but money would not allow; then my mom tried but there was a money issue there too. So I did it alone. I was proud of myself because I took the trip alone now I just got in this blue mood I can't seem to get myself out of.
I am not sure if it is because I was alone on the trip because it really was not that bad just kinda wished someone was there with me or because of this money thing. We have been trying to sell the house in SC for a year now (It will actually be a year June 1 close enough) Now we are trying to pay two mortgages and I feel like we are drowning. I called the mortgage company for the house in SC but they will not help us even though they said our monthly expenses were $1000.00 more than we make a month. They do not believe our calculations. They said I spend too much on food and groceries. Do you believe that!
Going to the conference made me realize I hate the job I am doing now because I am a cancer nurse and have been for 13 years. I love what I do! Basically when I was recruited to work here it was closer to home and it was a cancer floor so I went for it. But I am not on a cancer unit it is a glorified med/surg unit. (For those of you who do not know what that is it is a mix of every sick person, not cancer patients just you're run of the mill sick patients. Also cardiac (heart) patients. I do not like working with cardiac patients can't make the cardiac stuff stick in my brain. Its like algebra to me I don't like it so I don't do it. I can't remember it unless it is right in front of my face.
Now I can not do anything about my job because we need to pay our ever increasing bills. So I am stuck!! I hate that feeling!
Bright side I will graduate with my Master's degree in Dec of next year. But what do I do for now!I know I should not be feeling sorry for my self but right now I can't help it.