Money, we love it! I love it! It seems no matter what you do you need money an never get enough of it. Is that why it is the route to all evil? I do not know I just know I do have a true love/hate relationship with money. I need it because I want to have a good life, but what is a good life really? Is a good life chalked full of things? I think that too is a balance. We shouldn't be so needy that we look for handouts every day and expect people to give us this and that; but then again if we have all the money and things in the world will that really be better? I do not think so.
I want a good life too. I dream of winning the lottery and getting millions of dollars but I think there is a price with also. The Bible says to whom much is given much is expected. There is also the story of the rich man who was told to give up all he had and follow Christ. He just walked away. I often wondered why he walked away, did he love his money so much he was willing to go to hell just to keep it? Then I think of myself. Since we moved here it has been a real adjustment for me. I am a nurse so I should be able to get any job I want right? Not so. I have been fighting with being unemployed off and on since we got here. It is very frustrating when trying to get all the bills paid and have a little bit of a life.
When I do have a job and get paid most times I am not even sure where all the money has gone before I know it, and its all gone again. How do I balance?
Then again being here has been such a blessing. I have seen my family( dad, step-mom, brother, sisters nieces and nephews) more in this past year and half, than I have in the whole time I lived in South Carolina. That is truly a blessing to me! I am and always been a daddy's girl so spending time with him now is wonderful. I can drive over for a weekend or even for a meal if I want it is three hours away now. I know your thinking 3 hours! But for the past 15 years I have been 12 hours away so 3 is a breeze. I sometimes just go over to escape my craziness and sleep in my old room, and hang with dad and step mom. It is truly wonderful to be able to do that.
So I know moving here was in God's plan for us. But the money and the house still for sale in SC now trying to sell as a short sale or go into foreclosure is a nightmare sometimes that makes me want to cry and sit in the corner and pull out my hair is part of all this too.
I have been thinking what is it I am supposed to learn from all this Lord? Is it that money truly is the route of all evil? Is it to learn how to manage money better? Is it just to learn to trust God in ALL things? I thought I did that, but after all I am human so maybe I just think I do that.
All I know is there is a lesson to be learned here and the Lord is growing me in knowledge and wisdom through all of this I just have to TRUST HIM.