Thursday, June 16, 2011

trying to get a better attitude

Hello all. I am trying so hard to get a better attitude. I actually am really OK with all the moving stuff. Our house has not sold yet; in fact no one has even come to look at it but I know God is in control and I am not worried about that. Besides it gives me a place to store all my stuff until we actually find a permanent place in Ohio. Right now we will be living in a furnished apartment the company is paying for lease right now is 3 months. I can't buy another house or even pay rent somewhere until I sell the house here. I am ok with all that. At least I think I am I feel fine, really I do but then I check my blood sugar and it is HIGH!! WAY TO HIGH!! I could see if I was eating bad things but I am not! (well most of the time, I have this awful habit of eating chocolate when I am depressed, angry, sad, happy, o well pretty much when ever! But I have been curbing that by eating a chocolate protein bar or low sugar snack). My extended family, 2 of my sisters, 1 of my step sisters and my brother are all having crazy in sane Jerry Springer drama that they try to drag me into. I have been good about staying away. Then last night my mom (I love her but she the the QUEEN of drama so much so one year for Mother's Day I bought her a tiara) called last night to inform me of drama of youngest sister and brother. My youngest sister had a very large brain aneurysm a few years ago. She was not expected to live through it but Praise The Lord she did and has become a Christian through the experience! Well now she has she is handicapped, not severely mind you but she does have some coordination problems, her IQ has gotten much lower than it was. She used to be an accountant now she can't even do simple math with her youngest daughter. (When I go up to Ohio for my interview next week her and her daughter are coming home with me till I move up there, a vacation for them) Anyhow with all that being said. My mom talks to my sister last night, my sister vents all her problems and worries to mom, mom texts me, one of the problems is she forgot to pay her phone bill. Well I need her to have her phone so I can arrange our meeting and getting together to bring her here. I tell mom I will pay the bill but want to do it anonymously. Mom calls sister to get information for phone bill tells her she found money she will pay it. I get very angry at this the reason I wanted to do it anonymously is my sister is a new Christian who has all of her life has been the baby of the family every one took care of. Well now that she is trusting God with her life I want to help her pray about her cares and concerns give them to God and let Him help her. An anonymous gift of her phone being paid may teach her not to depend on me but on God, ya know. SO mom tells her she is going to pay it. I know it wasn't the best thing to do and did apologize to mom later for loosing it with her but I got very angry and mom and I got into a huge argument, which is never a good thing with my mom because she is always the Eeyore in the bunch, the victim if you know what I mean. Some how it ended up being an argument about the way my mom parents her older children, (not my intention by the way mom lead it there, I hung up on her at that time.) After all this I got ready for bed checked my blood sugar and it WAS EXTREMELY HIGH. Had to take 15 units of insulin which is A LOT!!!

Moral of this story, I guess, I am not stressed by moving but my extended family stresses me out. Thank goodness I will be a few hours away from them!

Thank you for letting me get all that off my chest!

I want to hand my diabetes over to God. I want to keep better control of my disease and my eating. That is my prayer request and my prayer for myself. If I could only loose some weight that would help tremendously. That is my goal!

I started this post with the title trying to get a better attitude. How am I going to do that I am going to hand each day to the Lord and not talk to my mom about my siblings!

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